|Pour some beer into your butt. FROM THE INSIDE!|
Every man loves beer. If the man doesn't love beer, he has a vagina. So, by this mathematical logic (yes, I'm a scientist), I have deduced that every man loves sticking beer steins up their ass. Look at those beasts! You could stick one in your butt, and the other in the same butt! Christ, I might even want to do this.
Alternatively, if you can't afford this (I'm pretty sure that they're at least $500 a piece)...
Stick this Spider-man stein in your ass. I think it's a stein... Or a thermos. Who cares? Plug your butt with cold beer or warm chicken noodle soup.